Thursday, January 29, 2009


Well seems I've been blogging more than you guys recently huh??? Oh well, told you guys I need something to do with my hands...
Ya'll I seriously feel like I'm about to crack up over this homework/school mess. Does school stress anyone else out as bad as it does me????? I'm serious? Do ya'll get as tore up about it as I feel like I do? First of all, I'm not really talking about Austin, we all know his past and it is what it is, but Ashton....seriously...I guess I just had higher hopes and now, well, let's just say, my expectations were too high!!!!!!! Um pretty sure he made a 13 on his spelling test today. Yes I said 13!!!! As in a 1 and a 3..13! And we studied. We studied ALL week as a matter of fact, we went over his spelling words every night in addition to all the other freakin homework he had. First grade is no joke by the way Jamie. I was just in disbelief when I opened that folder and saw that test. And to talk to him about it is like talking to a wall. I just get a blank look on his's kinda like De Ja Vu (or how ever you spell that). So.....tonight we did write off's (of the spelling words), studied them, took practice spelling tests and read a story from his reading book, did a math page, studied his words for his "visual test" (yeah he has a visual reading type test on Fridays) and then read a book for AR (can't forget that AR)....pretty sure I'm tired. Tomorrow he does get to re take the spelling test and she'll take the better of the two grades for the grade book (surely it'll be better than a 13). I just don't know what has happened to him this year, it's like he was on it last year, just rollin with his school work and now...nada. Baseball sign ups are this weekend and I seriously don't know what to do? First of all we have so much home work every night that it's hard to have any xtra curricular activities when you're mother doesn't get home till 5/6/7 in the evening, then it takes the rest of the night to do homework. How do these people HAVE IT ALL???? I seriously want to know? How do people balance a career and kids and be soccer mom's etc? Maybe I'm just having a pity party tonight (and I want a cigarette so bad I can taste it so I'm just typing typing typing....) and maybe I just need to get over it. Austin, on the other hand...never brings a book home so I have no idea if he has home work or not. I guess he figures what I don't know won't hurt me huh???? ha. I said I wasn't gonna talk about him, so I won't park there. Well, I just needed to vent a little I guess. I'm really tired and I should go to bed but just still setting here.......
Jen, I'm glad you got your tooth fixed. Hope it holds up for ya. Jamie, good luck on the ol "briefing" you have to give tomorrow-Jamie has to give a brief summary of her section (orally) at the Business Office Staff meeting tomorrow-needless to say she's in a panic. But it'll be fine, just say a prayer and GOD will walk you right on through it.....ha...listen to me...need to take my own advice huh????
See ya.

Monday, January 26, 2009


Just thought I'd update, although you guys already know what's happened to me in the last week.... :)

I am feeling much better these days though for real. Haven't had a cig since last Sat. Still WANT to light up though. Taking it one day at a time. Chest Pains/Heart rate is MUCH better though I gotta admit since they poured that very bad liquid potassium down me. That was pure torture drinking that stuff. You may as well have opened up the salt shaker and poured it straight down my throat. And I'm not a big fan of salt in general. Since then I've just been trying to make sure I eat something daily with potassium in it. Hopefully that'll help. Oh and I've made sure I didn't "internalize" my stress at work...I'm working on getting better at that. Today, just fyi....I left at 430!!! Pretty sure, that's a first in a long time. And Jen, you will be able to appreciate this....I received a call today from my PCP (who also did tons of labs BEFORE sending me straight to Vanderbilt). They tell me my sugar is up and my triglycerides are up. My cholesterol was good-couldn't believe that. bout that? Cut out sweets and cut back on breads and come get it rechecked in 4 months....uh huh...I'll do that..... :)
Oh and one more thing......this is gross but I so have to blog about it-hopefully nobody is reading this but a select few-if you're not the select few oh well-
So I had this little "thing" come up a few days ago right on my how shall I say it, butt cheek. So it was kinda like a zit/boil/cyst type thing and although some people in my family are prone to those things, I've never personally had one. Well pretty sure, this "thing" was there and pretty sore. I didn't touch it or mess with it as I figured I'd just let it run it's course. Well this morning I was getting in the shower and um noticed it growing I guess you'd say. I thought to myself-being the crazy zit popper person that I am-boy I'd sure love to squeeze that....yeah try squeezing a zit on your butt and see how that works out for I just let it go. Today it's kind um bugged me, maybe it bugged me just knowing it was there but for whatever reason I thought about it alot today. So tonight I get home, do my usual routine of taking off my work clothes and slipping into something a little more comfortable (sweat pants) and I turn and look in the mirror only to see this thing is HUGE. I couldn't resist! I had to touch it. I reached back, S L I G H T L Y squeezed on it and whowza........this thing had a core in it that shot out like a cannon!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE and full of blood. Come on you all know the gushing sounds that a good zit makes when it pops? Well pretty sure I got that times 5!!!!!!!! The "thing" appeared smaller after I bleed out basically but you talk about SORE!!!!! And it looks like I have a whole the size of Egypt in my butt cheek!!!!!!!!!!!ha. I just couldn't resist telling ya'll that story. It was just cool to say the least. I've never experienced anything like that before.

Whew...I do NOT like getting old...ha.

So anyway, just thought I'd post something. Oh ya'll will be proud, I put some pics on facebook. Finally got me an album going. I was impressed with me. Of course, that's not hard though...ha. BYE!!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

A rotten evening

Yep...pretty sure the irritability has totally kicked in. Things have so got on my nerves this evening. I've yelled all night at my kids and it's 9:50pm and Ashton is still laying in the bed crying...not asleep but crying. First of all let me say I HATE homework. And the fact that my kids tend to wait till Monday night before going back to school on a long weekend before even cracking a book. What is it with these kids? Is it just me or if I never asked them to look at their backpacks they'd never do homework. Is that just my kids? Really I want to know? Do all kids just act like school doesn't exists unless YOU ask them about it???? Just once I wish one (or both would be awesome) of my kids acted like they cared a little bit about school...they could care less, both of them. For a while I thought ashton might be different, I thought he had more initiative than Austin, boy I was wrong. Negative. None. His report cards are looking more and more like Austin's every six weeks. And I am so tired of it I could scream. I can't get him to even act like he wants to read. I have to read to him every night (stupid AR tests) and I try to get him to read to me, he just mumbles a couple of words and says you do it now. So here I am back to reading, the only way I know he can read is his teacher tells me. Lazy. Pure Lazy. And it wears me out. So needless to say tonight of all nights, I needed a smoke.....but I haven't had one....yet....and I need to go to bed before I do I know.... Ugh....and basically I'm just typing so that I'll have something to do with my hands...funny huh? Bubba called and after about two seconds on the phone with me he goes, um are you in a bad mood? I said yep sure am. He chatted for about all of 5 minutes then said well I'll get off of here, hope you get some sleep and hope you get in a better mood, talk to you tomorrow! ha. Maybe I'll take his advice and go to bed. Ya'll have a good one.
Well it's Monday (MLK DAY) and I'm off work. I have a hair appointment this evening and I so dread getting out. Normally I'm excited to be getting my hair "did" but not today. I almost called and cancelled but decided to tough it out and go on.
I had a 3 day weekend this weekend and even though I worked a little bit on Saturday it's been kinda nice. I needed the rest I think. Haven't really done anything special but still enjoyed it. Well I can't really say I haven't done anything special cause I kinda have.....I'll explain....
Saturday night, we had tickets to the motocross show inside Miller Coliseum. I knew my kids would totally love it so I bought us some tickets back at Christmas time. We went to that and you would not believe the dust and dirt floating around in that place (from the track)..... So bad I could hardly breathe. So I sat through this whole thing (after a couple of coughing fits) thinking to myself, why do my lungs feel so full all of the time, why does it feel like I'm 80 years old physically when I know I'm not??? So after it was over going to the car was even worse than actually sitting in the place. It was freezing cold outside, we had a pretty good little walk to our parking space and by the time I got in the car my chest was killing me and I could seriously barely breath. I was having major chest pain-not go to the ER type chest pain, but chest pain like you have after you've just ran a race knowing you weren't in shape to do that chest pain-and after I thawed out a bit I reached in my purse and grabbed a cigarette and lit it up. I smoked about 3 drags off of it and threw it out the window. That was my last one. I haven't lit another one since. Yes it scared me, that whole night was horrible feeling the way I felt. I've been noticing my health starting to get kinda um "bad" lately I guess you'd say and just knowing that I somewhat have control over that makes me realize that I need to do better. I know that ultimately when it's our time to go, we'll go, regardless of how healthy we are, but knowing that I can do something to at least improve the quality of life I have while I'm here makes me want to do better. I had been smoke free for 10 years and I picked them back up again-and this time I LOVED it. I enjoyed it, I wanted it, they were Sooooo good....but yet I felt sooooo bad. Maybe it's cause I'm older, maybe it's cause I'm just plain "unhealthier" now than I was then, but regardless of the reasons my body was talking to me and telling me that I needed to stop. So, with that said, it's Monday evening and here I am, still no cigarettes. YEAH ME! However, with success comes a price.....I am extremely tired, I am irritable and I am so bored I can't stand it. I have nothing to do with my hands and I have to constantly think of things to do. It seems like this day is creeping by. So maybe a hair appointment is a good thing huh???? I went to the grocery store yesterday and I tried to buy healthy food, considering the last time I quit smoking I gained about 45 lbs. I do hope that doesn't happen this time. I'm trying to cut back (I didn't say cut out cause I can't give up everything at once) on the diet drinks too cause those just seem to bloat me and drink more water. So all this life style changing is hopefully good for me but be aware that I am pretty crabby and not really much fun to be around right now...ha...hopefully that'll change. Well I must go get something done to my head, maybe that'll put me in a good mood!!!! Have a good rest of the long weekend!!!