Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Back to bloggin

Well Jamie fussed so I decided to blog. Not sure why I haven't blogged really I guess I just haven't been in the mood but here I am, I'll post something. Christmas was good. My kids had a good time. It was a bit stressful for me and honestly I didn't enjoy it much. I guess because I just felt so rushed and kinda wasn't really feeling the whole holiday happiness that should come with Christmas. I'm just glad it's over. As long as the kids were happy guess that's all that counts huh? I know I said I wouldn't blog anymore about work but I got to vent a minute.....Man it's wearing on me. It's ALOT going on there and I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed at the moment. I knew alot more responsibilities came with the promotion but I don't think I realized how much. It's hard for me to admit that I'm overwhelmed but I think I am. My old anxiety symptoms are starting to creep back up on me and I don't like that feeling. I do feel like it's strictly job related though and I know I got to get it under control. I need to take more time and relax and not worry about the drama that goes on there. This weekend was nice and all the time off was nice but to be honest I worried about what I had to go back to the whole time. I knew there was a ton of stuff waiting on me there and I felt like I should be there doing it instead of being at home enjoying the Holidays....makes no sense I know but its true. I read somewhere that anxiety will so hit you when your not looking and I think that's what is going on with me now. I'm just feeling overwhelmed in general. I know only I can control it and I have before and will again but I don't like feeling this way. I looked at my leave usage today on the computer and for the whole YEAR of 2008 I have taken a TOTAL (sick leave and annual leave) of 60 hours. That's like one week and 2 days off work in a year. That's not to mention all the saturdays and some sundays I've put in there. So when you look at it that way.....that's kinda ugly. And not only do I suffer (along with my body) my whole family suffers, my house suffers, my existence suffers. I need to change that in 09 I know. Honestly I don't foresee me getting to take off much more in this upcoming year but I'm gonna have to learn to "de stress" a little better I think. I used to say that smoking helped with the stress but that's just one bad habit for another. I need to find some good habits to help with stress. Some that are beneficial to my body and mind. I'm up for suggestions?????????ha. But anyway, that's what is going on with me lately. Not a whole lot I know. On a good note, my cold/sinus is better. It didn't actually start getting better until this weekend. I hung on to this one for a long time!!! Seemed like I never was gonna UN Stop!! ha. My poor sinuses were terrible. One thing I think that helped was that awesome facial I got on saturday. I've been on antibiotics and all but when that lady messaged my face for an hour, that was just awesome!!! And seriously by sunday morning I could drastically tell an improvement. I drank a bunch of water on saturday after I left there and ended up hacking up some bad stuff that day. I know that's gross but ya gotta get that stuff out!!! I'm telling you all if you ever listened to me before please take my advice and schedule yourselves one of those! Mine was an awesome experience. And relaxing as all get out. I think I need a facial every night when I get home!!! ha. Well sorry Jamie, that's really about all I have for now.........sad as it is....ha. Hope everyone has a safe and happy NEW YEAR!!!

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